5 steps to online dating
” If this rings true for you, it may be time to step out from the dating scene like I have.You get all the benefits of an allergy without being a pain when your friends invite you over for dinner. The following 5 key tips are meant to help you take your own break from online dating.1.Speak Your Radiated Dating Life Aloud“Emsam, Norpramin, Pamelor,” he repeated into the receiver."Wellbutrin, Paxil, Ambien, Valium, Propranol, Meloxicam." At first, I thought he was reciting a torah passage.“Celexa, Prozac, Sarafem, Zoloft, Anafranil,” he continued.
Adding electronic cigarettes to your arsenal just won’t cut it.2.OK, I’m back.”It’s no secret that my pal, Eliezer Sobel, one of the three people I turn to when I’m in need of relationship advice, is in a polyamorous relationship with the pharmaceutical industry.What I am to the world of purposelessness and failed love relationships, Eliezer is to the world of intercontinental human guinea pigs and spirituality.He blogs about his adventures and I, in turn, blog about his advice (Read his Psychology Today posts here).I explained my dilemma: A month of dates and nothing but fruitcakes.“There’s nothing really all that dangerous about a fruitcake,” he said, “as long as you send it along without eating it.”Tip: Call the next person on your phone tree.Replace Your Old Allergy with a Similar One It’s been proven that the red wires in the brain that relate to pleasure overlap with the green wires that relate to seeking relief from anxiety, which is why it’s so easy to develop a new allergy when you’ve given up an old one - like giving up peanuts only to find you’re allergic to cotton. In fact there’s nothing wrong with replacing one allergy for another - I think the scientific term is called healthy addictive behavior.You’ll need a surrogate when you deactivate your online profile, which is why, when I de-activated my OK Cupid and profiles, I re-hired my entire staff of imaginary personal assistants: Veronica Crawford, Agnew Hamilton, and Chucho Van Den Born. Now, instead of checking my online dating profile every second like Rain Man, I spend the time helping my imaginary posse get into all kinds of creative mischief.5 Steps to Online Dating Success reduces the learning curve and makes the Online Dating game easy.Starting with explaining what Online Dating really, really is - the manual goes on to reveal the Online Dating Success formula, broken down into 5 easy-to-follow steps. Step 1: Getting Started Step 2: Making Yourself Look Like A Million Dollars Step 3: Letting The Relationship Blossom Step 4: Meeting Face To Face Step 5: Once Bitten...There’s a Woody Allen joke that goes, “I don’t go out on dates, I go out on relationships.”Well, last week I quit dating so I wouldn’t have to go out on any more relationships and it feels permanent, which means it feels less like a sabbatical and more like an allergy.My friend who is allergic to bread cries every time he eats a sandwich. When the doctor insisted that my friend not eat sandwiches anymore, he confided, “I think my life is over.” You see, he is in love with sandwiches.