Dating a guy with no job
This can be an endearing quality, but it will get frustrating if you’re trying to plan a life with someone incapable of commitment. Still, when we’re drawn to people, we tend to make excuses for their faults. How can you expect to have an adult relationship with someone who’s never left the nest?If he thinks being in a relationship means he never has to cook, do his laundry or clean up after himself (or needs you to at least remind him to do those things), you’re in pretty warped territory.Let him know you’re more than a maid he gets to bang.Even though he’s the life of the party when he’s around his buddies, he clams up at work functions or “adult” dinner parties. Whether he’s skipping the foreplay or racing to the finish line, he hasn’t learned that relationship sex is about teamwork.Otherwise it’s just a distraction that temporarily tables the problem and allows it to get worse. I’m talking about learning new skills, becoming more invested in current affairs, reading more… If he thought he was finished gaining any kind of knowledge when he graduated from school, he’s still got a lot to learn.Knowing how to manipulate people into doing what you want is actually a pretty good skill to have. Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, and that isn’t always pretty.
No, I’m talking about the kind of games when he’s fucking with your mind. He has no interest in your hopes and dreams unless they revolve around him; he only cares that his needs are being met.This guy has an unrealistic and outdated idea of what it means to be a man.He thinks that unless everything is done on his terms, he’ll be perceived as weak-willed. Maybe it’s an old gender role, but men are expected to be reasonably handy.But the difference between a man and a boy is that the man knows you hate that kind of shit and makes a suggestion anyway.If this guy is rude to waiters or won’t play nice with your friends, he’s either playing the bad boy or he really is one.If he can’t send you a simple text just to let you know he’s not dead or in jail, odds are he’s fucking with your head.When you ask a guy where he wants to go for dinner and he says something like, “I don’t care,” or “Wherever you want,” it’s usually true.For whatever reason, he wants you to believe he has other options besides you and he makes sure you know about them.Some guys can be kind of emotionally closed off, and that shouldn’t be such a big deal.But arguments are about finding middle ground, not about coming out on top.And a grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman, anyway. You’re an independent, 21st-century woman — you don’t need a man to pay your bills.