Modern rules of dating
I'm regularly grateful to have been one of the last generations of teenagers who didn't have to worry about social media when it came to college crushes, but even I remember days spent staring at a mobile phone that refused to beep.
I have never been a "Rules girl" (that's right, they're a tribe – Blake Lively and Beyoncé are both rumoured to have tried them, on Leonardo Di Caprio and Jay Z respectively).
Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider practice what they preach.
As authors of the dating guide that became a phenomenon – referenced in Sex and the City, and updated this year to include advice on how to date in the digital age – they achieved global fame for being women that know what men want.
The New Rules: The dating dos and don'ts for the digital generation, (£9.99, Piatkus) published this month, offers their signature sagacious take on the grey area where sex and cyberspace intersect.
And it's an important subject to address, given the de-mystification of internet dating and the rise of outlandish digital phenomena such as "sexting".
The Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr.
So to make sure you stay in the “date” category by adopting the traditional dating custom of paying for your date.There is however an exception to this rule: If the girl invites you out (especially if she takes you someplace way out of your price range) you’re fine simply offering to split the bill.It’s not your obligation to pay for her when she’s the one extending the invitation.Fein and Schneider have even enlisted the help of their teenage daughters, to add their own take on romance in an over-connected era."These days, it doesn't matter whether a guy calls, texts or emails to ask you out," goes one of their hymeneal homilies, "as long as he asks you right." "Technology is great," continues Schneider. But it's the overuse of technology that is the problem. They're addicted to answering guys back in nanoseconds and they're not getting dates.They're getting more texts and Facebook messages and no dates.""They're writing on guys' walls, friending their cousins and scaring them away," adds Fein.If you're horrified at the suggestion, clearly you're part of the generation this latest book is aimed at.For the rest of us, it's a welcome return to anonymity, to relinquishing the constant anxiety over whether you should be publicising how cool you are by tweeting your global positioning reference every time you enter a cool new bar or restaurant.Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower.The advice, which ranges from micro-management to maternal instruction, takes the tone of a maiden aunt.Any communication you make independently of that is an initiation of contact that would never have happened were it left up to him.This, the authors argue, is what means women are disappointed again and again by men who are perfectly happy to accept your advances (and all the, ahem, perks they might bring), but who won't follow through with a second date or who can't commit."The Rules are about boundaries and self-esteem," says Schneider.