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They might look calm, but they're deeply anxious about missing out on something better.

Seventy percent of them check their phones every hour, and many experience phantom pocket-vibration syndrome.

Unlike my parents, my grandparents and my great-grandparents, I have proof.

If you want to sell seminars to middle managers, make them about how to deal with young employees who e-mail the CEO directly and beg off projects they find boring.English teacher David Mc Cullough Jr.'s address last year to Wellesley High School's graduating class, a 12-minute reality check titled "You Are Not Special," has nearly 2 million hits on You Tube."Climb the mountain so you can see the world, not so the world can see you," Mc Cullough told the graduates.They're so convinced of their own greatness that the National Study of Youth and Religion found the guiding morality of 60% of millennials in any situation is that they'll just be able to feel what's right.Their development is stunted: more people ages 18 to 29 live with their parents than with a spouse, according to the 2012 Clark University Poll of Emerging Adults. In 1992, the nonprofit Families and Work Institute reported that 80% of people under 23 wanted to one day have a job with greater responsibility; 10 years later, only 60% did.(Poll: Who's the Most Influential Millennial?It's just that we've learned later that self-esteem is a result, not a cause." The problem is that when people try to boost self-esteem, they accidentally boost narcissism instead. It's a better message," says Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, who wrote Generation Me and The Narcissism Epidemic."When they're little it seems cute to tell them they're special or a princess or a rock star or whatever their T-shirt says.As with most sales, positivity and confidence work best."People are inflating themselves like balloons on Facebook," says W.Keith Campbell, a psychology professor at the University of Georgia, who has written three books about generational increases in narcissism (including When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself).When everyone is telling you about their vacations, parties and promotions, you start to embellish your own life to keep up.

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